Before
class we were assigned a reading entitled, “Whose Volunteer Experience Is This
Anyway” which basically discussed how usually when volunteers select
organizations they want to do community service for, they choose things that
revolve around their own interests. Often times, they have some kind of idea or
vision of what their service experience should look like, and what ways they
want to contribute, etc. I know I’m very guilty of this. Having been the
community service chair for various student groups, I am known for doing
searches for the ones that spark my interests, or will benefit the communities,
which I am closely affiliated with. But, when it comes to public service, is it even about me? Why are my personal interests
even involved in the matter? I haven’t quite been able to answer these
questions but the end of the article put things into perspective for me and as
long as I keep this in mind, I think I’ll be okay:
“The act of
giving is mutually beneficial. But at the end of the day, it’s not only
about me. Giving, volunteering, and the work done to support nonprofits becomes
transformative when the goal is something much larger than just one person’s
pride or fame or even self-actualization.
Do you have
strategies for keeping your ego in check?”
Anywho, back to our
service-learning orientation, my absolute favorite activity was when Janice
asked us to draw a lifeline that marked at least three important ‘learnings’
that we can vividly remember which could be from learning a skill, a change in
attitude, behavior or understanding, gaining knowledge of some kind, or
learning the solution to a problem. The years I marked in my own life were
1994, 2003, and 2009.
In 1994, I was first
separated from my mom and siblings and if it were not for that point in my
life, I don’t think I would have learned the importance of being there for my
siblings and being a role model for them. I knew that without mommy and daddy
there I would have to find something inside of me to keep me going. I am
honestly thankful for the pressure that whole ordeal added to my life.
Fast forward to
2003, which was the next major moment in my life. I labeled this event on my
lifeline as a change in attitude. My daddy passed away in October and I had to
learn how to let go of all of the anger I’d been harboring inside of me toward
my parents. Regardless of all the things I felt they hadn’t done for me growing
up, I realized the anger was only ruining my own life. It was selfish of me to
continue to “punish” them by not being willing to rebuild those relationships
and that was why I was left with so many feelings of guilt after my father
died. Right then, my whole attitude shifted and I wanted to make sure I
cherished each and every relationship I had with people because you have no
idea how much time there will be to fix those very relationships later on.
Lastly, 2009 was the final year of major events
on my lifeline. This was my year of transitions. I was moving to a place of
adulthood while dealing with the loss of my oldest brother. I was trying to
mentally prepare myself for college while trying to prove to counselors and
teachers that I could do anything I was willing to work for. I was also at a
place of figuring out that it was okay to need people sometimes. I realized
that I’d never really been a kid, especially not one that felt like I had
somewhere to go when I had nightmares or just times when I couldn’t get certain
images out of my head. All of those
things that mommy and daddy were supposed to do, I had missed out on. Even
today I am still seeing the results of this. I’m just an emotional wreck at
times because I’m always trying to put on a happy face for everyone around me.
But deep inside there is definitely a lot of work to be done.
This activity was such an eye opener for me
because it wasn’t very difficult for me to figure out the turning points in my
life. I’ve been through so much but the major moments stand out so vividly. I
guess on the journey of self discovery it is important for me to recognize what
has shaped my identity thus far so I know what I will let shape me in the future. I must say I am proud at the growth and
just the level of maturity I’ve developed over time.
It’s so crazy how seeing people in various
living environments, especially those very different from your own, really
opens your eyes to so many things. The extreme poverty all around me here in
Cape Town has opened my eyes to how very fortunate I am. In no ways did I grow
up with a lot of money or do I come from an extremely privileged family, but I
now know that what I thought was economic hardship does not even compare. The
things that I am able to do at home, at school, in life are unheard of to some
of the communities here. My problems all seem so irrelevant when I see the
conditions that people have to live in. I couldn’t imagine being in a township
without electricity, or running water, or private toilets. And to think, at
home I complain when our Comcast freezes up because of the rain or the Internet
is out for a few hours, or when my shower water turns cool. Like seriously, who
do I think I am? Going through townships like Guguletu, Nyanga, and Khayelitsha
was a lot to handle. My emotions were all over the place because my eyes were
being exposed to living conditions I couldn’t even imagine. My natural response was that I just wanted to
help and then feelings of hopelessness just took over and it was more like,
what can I actually do to change this?
Many of the students in our group are partnered
with organizations in some of these same townships for their service learning
placements. I am actually in a better part of Cape Town, Pinelands, at a
children’s home. The home actually used to be in a shack in Khayelitsha but
with the help of donors it has moved to a much better area. Many of the kids
actually come from Khayelitsha and the home has a day every year where they go
and visit the shack where they were once located. Anywho, now I’m going to
explain all about my first day there.
When I first arrived, I sat down with my
supervisor who is also the director of the home and we went over the history of
the home, what my expectations are, and she pulled out the list of names of all
15 children who live there. I will refer to them as my Linawo family, since
that is what they are. Basically, I’ll be spending every Wednesday and Thursday
(9-4) acting as another pair of hands in the home. Majority of the children are
home-schooled so I’ll be helping their teacher during class time with lessons,
grading their work, and any other way I’m needed. Afterward, they have free
time so I’ll be playing with the kids (they LOVE soccer), taking them to the
park, and just getting to know more about them as they get to know more about
me as well. They are letting me into their lives so part of the exchange is
letting them into mine as well.
The first day I worked hard to learn all of
their names. They quizzed me over and over, laughing at my mispronunciations, until
I finally got them. The kids all range in age from 3 to 14 years and I met
everyone except the two girls in high school. They all wanted to know if I knew
Sis Trinity (student from Stanford who was here last quarter) and if I had
talked to her recently. They had only good things to say about her.
I started out in the classroom with the nine
boys who are home-schooled. The boys are so independent and worked on their own
individual assignments until their teacher or I came around to check their work
or answer their questions. At break time, they zoomed off to the front yard to
resume their soccer game. I went out with them to watch and was shocked to see
one of the boys come walking out with a pitcher of tea. When I asked who it was
for he responded, “Everybody Sis Brittani. It’s our favorite drink.” They all
drank at least two cups each. I found this absolutely hilarious. I didn’t start
drinking tea until I was a junior in high school, and even then I still
preferred juice or pop. It was the strangest thing!
During lunchtime, the independence continued as three of the boys prepared sandwiches for everyone. Afterward they all cleaned up after themselves and one began washing dishes, which was his chore for that day. They returned to class right on time for their afternoon math lesson and at 2:00 when school ended we were back outside for more soccer. I caught a few of them in between more cups of tea to talk to them about their daily routine, what kind of things they enjoyed, and let them ask me any questions they had. They wanted to know about my ten siblings, what music I liked to listen to, and of course they wanted to know, “Did your tattoos hurt Sis Brittani?” I answered all of their questions and assured them to never be shy to ask me anything or talk to me about anything at all.
Around
2:45, once all the children were home from school, I walked with the children
and two foster mothers to the park. I knew my transport would be coming in
about thirty minutes so my supervisor told me to just have two of the boys walk
me back since it was only a few blocks away. When I saw I had about five
minutes to get back, I went to one of the boys and asked him if he could take a
break from his soccer game and walk me home with another one of the boys. He
looked at me with a sincere face and said, “No Sis Brittani, you can get back
by yourself. You got it.” So that is exactly what I did.
In terms
of my intentions within my own service context, I expressed to the director of
Linawo and to some of my classmates how I just hope to be someone the children
never forget. Our time here is extremely short and will be over before I know
it, but I am dealing with children who have been abandoned by their own
parents. I do not want to be another person who comes into their lives for a
short period, forms a relationship, and then they never see me again. These
concerns have led me to promise to never forget about them once this program is
over. The director has agreed to let me e-mail the children or even write
letters, which they would be able to read on their own. The Linawo family sees
volunteers all the time. They have a number of “buddies” that come in and form
temporary relationships. I’m constantly thinking of ways to leave more of a
lasting impact. These children are the definition of resilient and I cannot
wait to see all the things they teach me while on this journey…
